The Edge

Today is Wednesday, the 97th day of 2010. There are 268 days left in the year. Today is No Housework Day. Our question is, how do you tell the difference?

Top 10 signs your baseball team isn't ready for the season

10. Your spring training begins in June.

9. Only thing they tested positive for was cheese fries.

8. Outfielders following Justin Bieber on tour.

7. Manager spends hour after hour practicing free throws.

6. You get winded standing for the National Anthem.

5. When writers compare clean-up hitter to Ruth, they mean Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

4. Instead of giving signs, third-base coach screams, "Bunt, you fat SOB!"

3. Tomorrow, whole team scheduled to undergo Tommy John surgery.

2. General manger used payroll trying to build a hot tub time machine.

1. Your star pitcher defected to Cuba.

"Late Night

with David Letterman"

O'Reilly goes

to New York City

Irish farmer Sean O'Reilly had saved for years to visit the United States. When he finally arrived, he wandered the city in amazement. At one busy street crossing, he watched as the traffic cop stopped the flow of traffic, shouting, "OK, pedestrians," before allowing the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and O'Reilly still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the 10th time, O'Reilly approached him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

Failure to

communicate

For many years, a woman worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.

After a good annual review, her supervisor told her she was up for a raise, pending approval of the vice president.

A month later, her supervisor called her into his office and said the vice president had refused to approve the raise. His reason?

"She clearly isn't doing the job because every time I saw her she was either chatting with someone in the lobby or talking on the phone."

Wordits

We're suspending the puzzlers for a while until we come up with a new batch of good ones.

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Dtiuyspt tog su otni itsh esms. Ywh acn't ti etg su tuo?

ANSWERS

$

$

$

- Buck up

Eivg tulni ti thsur, tenh veha uyor utccnotnaa caaelutlc hte etrwi-fof. - Give until it hurts, then have your accountant calculate the write-off.

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Susan Engle, Edge editor, may be contacted at edge@lmtribune.com; The Edge, 505 Capital St., Lewiston, ID 83501; (208) 848-2228; or by fax, attn: Edge, (208) 746-1185.