Today is Thursday, the 321st day of 2011, with 44 days left in the year.

Today is ...

Mickey Mouse Day. The cartoon rodent turns 83 today.

Short takes

Bored? Shake things up by believing in Santa again. If you're really bored, throw in Bigfoot too.

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It's best to carry $100,000 with you all the time in case you feel like filling your gas tank or buying a sandwich at a large international airport.

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WARNING: Exposure to the 2012 presidential campaign might cause you to roll your eyes so hard you can actually see your brain.

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If the rule is that all good things must come to an end, the inverse must also be true: All truly awful things go on forever. Hence, the 2012 political season is here ad infinitum.

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If people were smart, they'd make all their social networking passwords impossible to type when drunk.

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There aren't many sports that couldn't be improved by adding a bear in a frilly skirt.

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Randy Quaid, Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson walk into a bar. ...

I'm not sure what the punch line is to this joke, but I'm pretty sure the cops are going to show up eventually.

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Do you know what to do when your car starts making an awful thumping sound every time you make a hard left? Turn the radio up. Fixes it every time.

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Has there ever been an automated switchboard whose menu options haven't recently changed so you don't have to listen carefully?

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If all those little computer geniuses with bad haircuts and pasty complexions stopped playing video games all the time and started working on a cure for cancer, I'm pretty sure we'd have that sucker whipped in about five minutes flat.

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Cops are pretty good public servants. To rise to the level of greatness, however, they'd have to come over every day and clean my house.

Define this

HELIOSIS

Definition No. 1 - Exposure to the sun.

Definition No. 2 - Heating liquid by chemical process.

Cryptogram

TMTXV YHBRXCOIV KYB Y ZKYUEOQD SKQ SONN CTWTDC OI.

hint: t = e

ANSWERS

HEBDOMADALLY - Every week.

People two clones are. - Clones are people two.

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Susan Engle, Edge editor, may be contacted at edge@lmtribune.com; The Edge, 505 Capital St., Lewiston, ID 83501; (208) 848-2228; or by fax, attn: Edge, (208) 746-1185.