Local NewsMarch 20, 2013

Today is Wednesday, the 79th day of 2013, with 286 days left in the year.

Today is ...

A big day! It is Alien Abduction Day and Won't You Be My Neighbor Day, as well as the first day of spring. My theory is aliens just want to be our neighbors, and sometimes if your neighbor won't come to the block party on their own you must abduct them to get them there.

Top 10 new Carnival Cruise ship names

10. Carnival Coli

9. Dyspeptic Princess

8. Poseidon's Outhouse

7. Hepitanic

6. S.S. S.O.S.

5. Quarantina

4. HMS Litigation

3. Costco Concordia

2. Peptotania

1. Q.E. Ewwwww

- Late Show With

David Letterman

Joke corner

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Insurance sales pitch

Supposing, God forbid, that anything should happen to your car or, God forbid, your house or even you, God forbid?

Supposing a terrible tornado hit just two days after you had fractured your wrist in a skiing accident, and while you were trying to clear away some of the considerable debris, using your one good arm as best you could, a gang of rotten thieves came and stole your last remaining items of value? Well we want to be there. We want to take your troubles and make them ours, God forbid.

Short takes

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Define this

Obnubilate

Definition No. 1 - A method of mixing dry and liquid chemicals.

Definition No. 2 - To cloud over; becloud; obscure.

Sentence scrambler

Moslih observation a traveler without - bird is without Saadi wings." "A Eddin

Answers

Paraph - A flourish made after a signature, as in a document, originally as a precaution against forgery.

"MHIU XMM COUXN NOXJUMUOF, H GXJU FUUP AVOU NGXP H OUAUATUO, XPS OUAUATUO AVOU NGXP H GXJU FUUP." - TUPDXAHP SHFOXUMH

"Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen." - Benjamin Disraeli

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The Edge is currently compiled and edited by Peggy Hayden. Contact: The Edge, 505 Capital St., Lewiston, ID 83501; edge@lmtribune.com, (208) 848-2243; or by fax, attn: Edge, (208) 746-1185.

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