Speaker: 'When kids bully others, it's because they're being selfish'

Bullying, Camelot Elementary School students learned Thursday, stems from one simple cause.

"When kids bully others, it's because they're being selfish," performance artist and anti-bullying speaker Cary Trivanovich told children at the Lewiston Orchards school.

"Would you believe when I was your age I had no friends, and no one liked me?" Trivanovich said.

Kids made fun of him, took things from him, pushed him around.

"I walked to school every day, scared," he said.

That changed, Trivanovich explained, when one day a group of students stopped him and instead of picking on him, they talked to him.

"They not only talked to me, they built me up. Do you know what I mean by that?" Trivanovich said. "They made me feel great. They made me feel liked."

His new friends encouraged him to audition for a play, and he ended up getting the lead part.

"My life is the way it is because these kids changed me," Trivanovich said, explaining that today he entertains on cruise ships and festivals with his signature comedy and pantomime routine.

The students, who moments before had been giggling and squealing at Trivanovich's pantomime antics, sat wide-eyed as he described his school experiences.

He pulled out three folding chairs. The kids represented by the first chair were the ones who put others first, shared what they had, built people up. He remembered those kids fondly, all these years later, he said.

The second chair was for people he didn't get to know, just faces in the hallway, names and faces he'd forgotten.

The third chair stood for those who only thought of themselves, saying and doing hurtful things with no concern for others. Unfortunately, he said, he remembered those kids all too well.

"I want you to know that most kids who see you and everyone that meets you can see you right here, in this chair," Trivanovich said, pointing to the first chair. "You will be a magnet for friends."

Students at the school are focusing on kindness this month, Principal Karla Carper said, and they've been nominating each other for recognition. Trivanovich's appearance, organized by the school's PTA, fit directly into that effort.

The parent group raised the $1,500 fee, including airfare, meals and a hotel room, to bring the performer to Lewiston. Trivanovich, based in Orange County in California, appeared at a school in Massachusetts earlier in the week, then traveled to Lewiston, where he gave age-specific presentations Thursday morning to kindergarten through third-grade students, then fourth- through sixth-graders.

Students reflected as they filed out of the Camelot gymnasium afterward.

"With all of the fun that he did, whether it was like being a mime or doing funny faces, he sent a great message to all of the kids at Camelot, and I really think changed a lot of kids' perspectives about very important things in life like bullies," said sixth-grader Andralynn Bernatz, 11.

Second-grader Callie Fisher, 7, liked "the mime thing" best, calling it "really funny," especially a routine Trivanovich did about going to a party.

But Fisher didn't miss the message.

"Bullying isn't kind," she said.

Carper had more feedback by the end of the day.

"I had a whole classroom telling each other how kind everyone was and feeling thankful for each other. They were all telling each other that they were 'first chair' friends and how much they appreciated being treated well," Carper said. "The best part was it was in a classroom comment section in Google Classroom, so I got to read it all. They were posting so they all could read each other's comments."

Trivanovich, who also speaks to junior high, high school and college students, said he's received "some very personal notes about stopping drinking, about stopping suicide," over the course of his speaking career, which has included more than 4,000 schools.

"I think that's what's kept me going through the years," he said. "My goal is to save lives, and nothing short of that."

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Stone may be contacted at mstone@lmtribune.com or at (208) 848-2244. Follow her on Twitter @MarysSchoolNews.