NorthwestApril 9, 2007

The thing that astonishes me most is how selective some thieves are.

They could have broken into my house and stolen any number of valuable items, such as my waffle iron, which was sitting right out in plain sight on my kitchen counter. The garlic press was also there and it's a wonder that hasn't been swiped long before now.

So why was it, when the thieves broke in, they took what I never expected would interest them? I had bought the plastic spray bottle and flower fertilizer just the day before and they were sitting on my dishwasher where I always put stuff when I first bring it home from the store.

But when I looked for them the next day, they were gone. At first I thought perhaps I had misplaced them myself. I have been known to be absent-minded from time to time. I searched everywhere - with my gardening stuff, in the garage, in my office, under the sink, in the bathrooms, even in the drawer where I keep the sheets and pillowcases, which is where I found an unopened box of Cheerios one time, don't ask me why.

I could not find the spray bottle or the bag of fertilizer anywhere. That's when I realized thieves must have broken into my house and pinched them.

That may seem a bit of a stretch, but it's happened before. I can't count how many times burglars have swiped my car keys and glasses. Of course, they usually return them eventually, probably because the keys don't fit anything they have and the glasses aren't the right prescription.

I used to think it was just me, that I'm so careless about where I toss things that I lose track of them. But I don't go out of my way to confuse myself - it seems to happen naturally. So when I have been missing my glasses for a week and finally find them in the freezer I know I am dealing with a criminal element.

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I don't know why crooks would want to do this to me. Maybe they're upset over something I wrote, although that seems unlikely unless they're from Riggins. Maybe they don't like me for some other reason.

Or perhaps it's just random violence that drives such people to sneak into my house and steal things that they clearly know I will miss and go frantic over trying to locate.

But I just don't understand the logic of stealing my plastic spray bottle and a bag of fertilizer. Perhaps they are going to use the fertilizer to make drugs and then use the spray bottle to douse the flames if the drugs catch on fire.

Who knows? I don't have a criminal mind so I can only guess. All I'm asking is that if the person or persons who stole these items from my house last week are reading this column I would appreciate it if you would please return them. My plants are getting dry and I need to feed my geraniums.

Just sneak back into the house the way you came and leave the goods on the kitchen counter - no questions asked.

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Hedberg may be contacted at khedberg@camasnet.com or (208) 983-2326.

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