In grade school, I usually excelled in English and spelling classes, but one incident stayed in my mind for years. I’d submitted a poem I wrote and the instructor dismissed it by saying that no one my age could have written it. Insulted and crushed, I stopped creative writing, but at my mother’s insistence, I took secretarial classes instead.
My first jobs were in secretarial positions at a bank and at Idaho Fish and Game Department, where I constructed letters dictated by others and sometimes recreated with words I’d selected.
After my second child, I became a stay-at-home mom but ran an in-home business, eventually becoming an industry leader where I wrote for trade papers. So, I guess I never really stopped writing.
It wasn’t until I began my first novel and paid for critiques and guidance that I began to clearly see how much words matter. A carefully chosen word can convey that you care, understand, maybe are sad without being morose. (OK, I chose that word and looked it up to be sure it fit. It has lots of meanings like gloomy, grouchy, ill tempered, mournful or melancholy. You probably get my drift.)
Think about the importance of a pause. In writing, a chapter break creates a pause, but in life, think of how often we would benefit if only we had taken a pause before speaking. Hesitate before speaking when you are angry. Chose words carefully, words that help resolve the initial problem instead of those that inflame a volatile situation.
The word “No,” can be a complete sentence when followed by a period instead of an explanation. I hope you use it when you’re inclined to say yes to doing things you don’t really want to do and may feel resentful afterwards.
There may be chapters in your life that you might wish to erase, maybe even sentences, but they don’t have to be the end to a story. It’s been said that people don’t change, but I don’t believe that. The best apology is to change the behavior that created a need for one.
There are so many seasons of life when we have to change, reinvent ourselves, cutting away things that no longer matter and adding space for those that do. That also means unburdening ourselves of things that clutter our homes and garages. It may mean cutting ties with people who no longer bring meaning, positivity or joy to our lives, though I’ll admit that this is a hard thing to do.
Tell your stories, the lessons you’ve learned. Share your mistakes, especially to those who think you’re perfect. They need to know we’re all human and we became who we are by those trials and troubles. Sometimes the worst experiences create the funniest memories and cutest stories.
Words matter. Never miss a chance to say I love you to those in your life who long to hear it. We all need to know we’re appreciated and that someone cares, that we don’t face life alone. What if those words are the last words a person ever hears?
For a long while, I didn’t consider myself a writer. Even now, I question myself until people tell me they’ve liked an article I’ve written, when one of my articles is selected for print, or when my book is nominated for another award. Then I tell myself again, words matter. I hope I’ve chosen wisely and I hope you know how much I appreciate you when you read what I’ve written and give me feedback. You matter.
Christiansen lives in Lewiston. She can be reached at petpal535@gmail.com.